What is a stay interview?

How is a stay interview different from an exit interview?

An exit interview asks “why are you leaving?” of someone who can no longer be helped. By then the decision is made, the person wants a good reference, and the answer tends to be the safe version: “a great opportunity,” “ready for a new challenge.” A stay interview asks “what would make you leave?” of someone who is still on your team, so whatever you learn can still change the outcome.

Most managers never hold the second conversation. In a 2024 Gallup study of U.S. employees who had voluntarily left a job, 45% said that neither a manager nor another leader had proactively discussed their job satisfaction, performance or future with them in the three months before they left. A stay interview is that missing conversation, held on purpose.

What is a stay interview not?

Settle this before you hold one. If the person senses it is something else, they shut down and give you the careful answer.

• Not a performance review. No ratings, no feedback on them, no development plan disguised as a chat. The moment it tips into evaluation, they start managing their image. SHRM’s guidance on stay interviews draws the same line: they “should not be add-ons to performance-appraisal meetings.”
• Not a satisfaction survey. “On a scale of one to ten” gives you a number you can’t act on. You want specifics, such as which part of the work they’d miss and what worries them about the new system.
• Not a fishing trip for compliments. Walk in hoping to hear that you’re a great manager and a kind employee will say “yeah, all good.” If the whole conversation was pleasant and reassuring, you probably learned nothing.

Why does a stay interview have to feel low-stakes?

Everything depends on whether the person believes it is safe to be candid. If it feels like a test or something that goes in a file, you get “everything’s great, no complaints,” which is worse than learning nothing because it lets you believe you checked.

You can’t fake low stakes, and the moment that decides it comes right after a hard answer. A manager asks “what would make you think about leaving?”, hears “I’m not sure where this role goes anymore,” and jumps in with “oh, there’s tons of opportunity here.” The employee has just learned that saying the true thing gets them talked out of it. The skill is holding still: a pause, then “tell me more about that.”

When should you hold stay interviews?

On a rhythm, with everyone. If you only sit someone down the week after they seemed off, they do the math instantly and read the meeting as “are you about to quit?” Run a round with the whole team a couple of times a year and one conversation is just an ordinary Tuesday. Routine is also fairer, because the steady people who never seem “off” get the conversation too.

You still choose the order. Start each round with the people you would be most hurt to lose, so the ones most at risk are reached first without being singled out. If someone is clearly drifting between rounds, don’t wait for their turn. And keep stay interviews away from the week of comp reviews or a reorg announcement, when every answer gets read through that event.

How do you open a stay interview?

Book 30 minutes as a standalone conversation, not the tail end of a status meeting. Know before you walk in what you can and can’t change, so you don’t over-promise in the moment. Then say plainly what this is and why you’re doing it.

What should you do with the answers?

Asking and then doing nothing is worse than never asking. The person took a risk, the world stayed the same, and next time they will give you the safe answer. Acting doesn’t mean granting every wish. A clear “I can’t move that, but here’s what I can” counts fully as acting. Silence doesn’t.

Within a day, write down what you heard in their words, not your guesses, and keep the notes factual. Pick at least one visible thing to change and put a follow-up date on the calendar. A week later feels connected to the conversation; three months later doesn’t. For each concern, decide honestly whether you can move it, partly move it, or not move it, and tell the person which is which.

If what you heard touches pay, a promotion, or a formal process, take the human part yourself and route the process through HR. It is worth the effort: Gallup puts the cost of replacing an employee at “one-half to two times the employee’s annual salary”.

Where to go next

For the full list of questions, follow-up prompts, and what to listen for, read stay interview questions. To decide who needs a stay interview first, see the signs a good employee is about to quit.